Practice what you preach Mama

It's been a tough week! Lots of yelling and fighting going on with the kiddos. I know its a normal part of summer but we've been working on speaking a different langue in this house these days, love more, yell less. This came as part of a major overhaul in our life the last few years. To our kids, this came naturally, in fact our adorable 4 year old came to this earth wired for this. She can express her feelings way better than most adults I know. The day I started the Orange Rhino Challenge, she giggled and said "Mama, Mama, yell ORANGE RHINO again." She came up with a color code of rhinos to express her emotions; Blue Rhino=Sad, Pink Rhino=happy, Orange Rhino=kinda mad, Red Rhino=Very angry, Yellow Rhino=just regular.

This morning while I was cleaning my room she was jumping on my bed and throwing my pillows. I turned and snapped "Sister stop!" to which she responded in her most polite voice, "Mom if  you say; Sister would you please stop jumping on my bed and put my pillows down, I would be happy to stop." This stopped me in my tracks because those were my words. I say that to her constantly. She even had my tone of voice down. Later, as we were eating breakfast, Brother and Lil Sissy were bickering, Big Sissy was sad and crying, and Baby Sis was starving (and screaming so I didn't forget her). Overwhelmed, I stormed out of the room to nurse Baby Sis, I sat on the couch and Lil Sis came in to "cuddle" to witch I snapped "back off Sissy, I need my space!" She sat back with shock on her face and said "Mama your not being very loving!" I defensively responded "I just need my space." She looked at me with love in her beautiful eyes and said "you said mean words and I just wanted to cuddle" so...we cuddled.

Cuddling after Baby Sis fell asleep.

This is just one example where my kids have reminded me to practice what I  preach. My stress level is no excuse to go from orange to red rhino without warning, especially when my kids are just being kids. I'm blessed with forgiving kids who love me as much as I love them. FORGIVENESS is a huge word in our life.

Big Sis was clearly overwhelmed by her chores today as she tried to unload the dish washer she kept running back into the room, where I was once again feeding baby sis, to hug me. I could feel my annoyance building and wanted to tell her to stay in the kitchen. Then...I realized this was her way of checking in. Of grounding herself in order to finish an overwhelming task. I now look forward to those adorable little hugs as she works on doing hard things. How lucky am I to receive such a gesture.

The last example of Christ like love in our home today was when Lil Sissy was very upset because Big Sis wouldn't play with her. As she left the room she cried "nobody will play with meeee!" Brother said quietly, "Sissy, you didn't ask everyone." a few min later I walk in to find Big Bro playing princesses with her. What greater act of love could I ask for?

"Brother you can even be a Medieval Knight if you want" 

 Tonight after all the yelling, fighting, tackling, toy throwing, and time outs, I am grateful for my kids and my Savior. Through them I will become the Mama they deserve, the Mama I know I can be, and the Parent I hope they can someday be.  

We speak pong..

 So I want this blog to be me. The real me, the me I'm still learning to be and love.

"We speak pong." I'm sure your wondering what the that means. Well I have this killer group of women in my life. My sistas have saved me on more than one occasion. I can Dare Greatly with them. They listen to my complaints and call me out on my crap.

One of our girls night in a new beauty was introduced to our group. As she talked we all fell in love with her. At some point she said "I love you guys. You get me! Most of the time my thoughts just bounce around my head like a ping pong ball and people don't fallow me." to which one of my sisters responded, "well we speak pong."  That exchange expressed me in a nut shell. I ramble, I get distracted. I don't finish sentences but it works cuz my girls speak pong. There will be a lot of pong spoken on this blog. So I invite any who speak pong to join me on my journey. As I write about no specific subject, just things that make me smile or lessons I learned or whatever comes out!

My sistas and I have come to know each other from all walks of life but most of us took a class together a few years ago. I remember each meeting so vividly. I sat across the room from one of them, she was so stunningly beautiful not a hair out of place. I looked at her and thought; I wish I could have even a quarter of her perfect life. As I looked around the room, I could see how beautiful all these women were (the class was mostly women but had a few men). There was the stunning tall girl with long silky hair (My Brave Heart), the adorable blond to my right who was silent but spoke so much with her eyes (My Mush), the beautiful strawberry blond with stunning blue eyes had walked in with me (My Wise Sister) just to name a few. Seriously, how did I end up in this class? As the weeks progressed more beautiful women came and went. I found my self feeling frumpy and my life seem so chaotic compared to these perfect women.  They appeared to be the real life "Marie Poppins". Piratically perfect in every way ;)

We began to hang out socially and I would prep for hours curling my hair, painting my nails, and getting my eyeliner just right. While prepping for class one day I got a phone call from my Brave Heart. She was so upset, I don't even remember why, but I saw the real her! She was one of the first women ever to open that part of my heart. She vented her frustration and before I knew it we were laughing and chatting like old friends. It was like she was the best friend I never new but always needed. I have similar memories with each of these women. They let me into their not so perfect lives and trusted me with their true selves. This was new to me! In 27 years, I had never met women who dared to do that!?!  I soon found out they spoke my language. My life seemed less overwhelming when I realized the reality of their life because they were willing to share their struggles and triumphs with me.

At class one day an older woman turned to me and said "have you ever notice how beautiful the women in this room are?" I was relieved by this question. Glad I wasn't the only one to see it and answered "YES! It's enough to make me want to go to the gym, salon, or the mall, if not all 3." She looked at me with a confused look on her face and said "Your one of them." What me??? Even after 4+ years of working on self hatred I still don't know if I can believe her?  Lately I've begin to wonder if she could be right.?.